In our hyper self-aware world, where everything we do is curated and researched, is it even possible to meet someone “organically” anymore?
TLDR; kind of….but you have to go out and put the meet in meet-cute.
Above are just a few of the alternative/offline ways to meet people that have been showing up in my feed recently, and the apparent explosion of these companies and events is totally in line with conversations I’ve been having with friends and clients;
We’re too online.
We’ve lost faith in dating apps.
We are craving the meet cute.
Whether it’s real or just perceived, it seems like the common wisdom is that it’s more difficult than ever to form real connections with people, out there in the real world and that technology might be getting in the way.
In response to this, lots of very clever folks are exploring new and thoughtful ways to meet and connect, technology-free - from dinners with strangers to creative events for making friends.
So how is this impacting the way we date?
12 years after the conception of Tinder, it feels as though while dating apps have been a positive force in terms of opening up the world of dating to many, we’re now at a point of counterbalance.
There is a drive to pull back from technology in various areas of our lives and this applies to the way we’re thinking about our dating experience. Add into this mix everything we’re exposed to in the media and good old fashioned romance (which we all crave, right?) and we’re left with nostalgic notions.
We want to have a perfectly charming response to the question, “would you mind telling us the story of how you first met?”
Some thoughts on meeting someone IRL
Start by assessing and getting clear on your values. Knowing what is really important to you is the first step to creating a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Do you value community over independence? Where does having a family fall in your list of priorities? This will be a good first pointer when you do meet someone, as to whether they are a compatible potential partner.
Think about the activities you enjoy, where you feel completely comfortable in your own skin. It might be climbing or dancing or something where you are focused on others, like volunteering. These are the times where you will be most at ease which usually means more attractive, and you’ll be in an environment with like minded people who you have at least one thing in common with!
Flex your flirting muscles. We’ve covered this already but as above, flirting is so much easier and more natural when you’re in your comfort zone and feeling good about yourself. So make an effort in a way that feels good to you, this doesn’t have to mean getting dressed up. Maybe it’s freshly washed hair, working out that day or wearing your favourite t-shirt.
Focus on meeting people and making genuine connections. This is where the “organic” element comes in (finally, am I right?). Try to background the intention of meeting someone, and instead focus on meeting people, connecting over shared interests and just genuinely engaging in your environment. We’ve all heard a version of ‘love comes along when you stop looking’, plus by simply expanding your network you’re opening yourself up to meeting more new people.
If you want to explore this topic more deeply, I’m hosting an intimate virtual workshop next Sunday, June 16th - send me a message to secure a place!
A Post-Date Recommendation
This sounds a bit on the nose but hear me out. I just discovered the Netflix series Love by Judd Apatow. It’s everything you would expect from the director of Knocked Up - it’s kind of off the wall, very California-centric and full of super quirky and lovable characters.
Even if the show isn’t up your street, here is my recommendation - the soundtrack is fantastic.